Everyone used to call her Bhabhi ji. She was the go-to person when someone needed advice, emotional support, or just a patient listener. Over the years, she had quietly stood beside her husband as he supported his siblings through thick and thin. She never asked for much. She believed that being good, honest, and selfless was all that was needed.
But when her husband passed away, everything changed.
The same people who once leaned on her started speaking a different language — one wrapped in concern but laced with subtle control.
“Bhabhi ji, ab aap akeli hain. Bas aap chinta mat kariye, hum hain.”
“Why don’t you distribute all your assets among your children? They’ll take care of you.”
“Aapse paise sambhalenge nahi. Sell your house — we’ll help you get something smaller, closer to us.”
It sounded like love. But it came with conditions. And when she didn’t agree, the tone shifted.
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“If you won’t listen, why should we waste our time?” “When you don’t call us, why should we call you?”
It’s like, earlier, too, it was always you who gave. And even today, somehow, all the expectations are still from you.
And because she hadn’t planned, she slowly found herself being cornered into dependence.
But is this really about the relatives? Or the children? Or “others”?
No. This is about you.
If she had sat with her husband to understand the family’s finances…
If she had been involved in the important decisions…
If she knew how to manage what they had built together…
If things were in her control, then why would she need to distribute assets to the children?
And if the control remained with her, she would still be that Bhabhi ji — the one people came to for advice, not the one being advised.
It is only when she looked dependent that others felt the need to “take care” of her. Not out of pure concern, but because they saw an opportunity to take charge.
This is not just her story. This is the story of many single women.
Single, yes — but not necessarily unmarried.
Some are widowed. Some divorced. Some never married. And some, even while being married, are single-handedly managing everything.
Independent. Educated. Confident. Capable. Yet vulnerable in ways they don’t always realise.
I meet single women like this often. They reach out for financial planning. Which, to me, is a bold and wonderful step. But somewhere between the first message and the final plan, something changes. Delays set in. The energy drops. Excuses come in:
“Too much work pressure,”
“Maid didn’t come today,”
“Will get back once this project ends.”
Life takes over. And they go back to managing everything — except their own money.
Whose fault is it, anyway?
Sometimes, the problem is not neglect, but ignorance. Maybe your husband didn’t intentionally exclude you — maybe he just forgot to update the nominations. Maybe he made a Will years ago and never revised it to include a new property. Maybe there’s no residual clause to cover the rest of his estate. Or perhaps you don’t even know about some of the accounts, investments, or insurances he holds, because you kept thinking, “He takes care of it all,” and neither did you ask nor show interest.
No one likes to think about being left alone. Let alone plan for it.
But if there’s care, there has to be preparation.
If your brother, father, or husband truly cares about your well-being, then part of that care should be making sure you’re protected and equipped — financially, legally, and emotionally — in case they’re not around. Not out of fear, but out of responsibility.
A thoughtfully written Will. Clear nominations. Documented policies. Access to passwords and critical records. Conversations that make you feel included, not just informed.
Because love isn’t just in the big gestures.
It’s in the planning.
It’s in making sure you’re not left behind, helpless, or unaware.
But even then—even if someone forgets to do all that—it doesn’t absolve you from your part.
There was a woman in her mid-30s who came to me after a painful divorce. Amid trying to rebuild her life, she learned that her father — who had passed away — hadn’t included her in his Will. Not because he didn’t love her, but because when the Will was made, she was “happily married.” He assumed she was taken care of.
She wasn’t fighting for money.
She was struggling with the feeling of being overlooked.
And that’s why I say — even if someone forgets, you shouldn’t.
It’s your life. Your future. Your peace of mind.
And your responsibility.
Where should you start?
The first and most important step in any management exercise is knowing where you are and what you have. Once that clarity comes, everything else starts falling into place.
The basics of financial planning are not optional.
It doesn’t matter how much you earn or how confident you are.
If you don’t know where your investments are,
If you aren’t aware of the nomination details,
If there’s no Will that includes you clearly,
Or if you’re not prepared for emergencies —
You’re taking a risk.
Yes, legal battles can be fought. But they are long, emotionally draining, and expensive. If you can get the basics sorted when things are fine, why leave it for a time when you may not be at your best?
And please, don’t let bad past experiences make you bitter. Or fearful. Or always suspicious.
I know trust doesn’t come easy, especially when you’ve seen the worst in people.
But moving forward requires action.
Delaying only makes it harder.
You don’t have to handle everything alone.
But you do need to know how to handle things if you are left alone.
Financially. Physically. Emotionally.
Conclusion:
So, if you are a woman reading this, and you’ve ever said,
“My husband/father/brother handles it.”
Just pause for a second. And ask yourself:
- If something happens tomorrow, can I access everything I need without panic?
- Do I know what I own and what I owe?
- Will I have to ask someone for help? Or worse, for permission?
You are not weak if you don’t know everything today. But you are making yourself vulnerable if you don’t choose to know now.
You can be emotionally giving and still be financially alert.
You can be trusting and still be legally protected. You can be dependent today and still be prepared for independence tomorrow.
And yes, you can be strong — without having to do it all alone.
Start where you are. Just don’t stop at being strong.
Be aware. Be clear. Be prepared.
That’s true independence.
If you know any “Single women” who need to understand what this article conveys, do share it with them.
